Monday, August 30, 2010

More exciting adventure options for older kids

I’d like to say I’m a natural sailor but my kids would tell you that is not quite accurate. I sail OK in a gentle wind with an instructor telling me what to do. But I am no one-lesson - or even two-lesson - sailing wonder. No sirree, that would not describe my sailing ability on a gusty day with my kids in the boat and me at the helm.

Lucky for me my kids have a good sense of adventure (and humor).

If you ask each of my kids about our sailing lesson, you’ll get a different review from each of them.

My 12-year-old summed up our sailing lesson together this way:

“Sailing was OK but mama wasn’t a good captain. We did OK for a while and had the sails puffed out nicely. But then we teetered and we almost tipped over.”

My 14-year-old had a (mostly) different take on our sailing adventure:

“I liked when the boat started to tip over and we had to lean to one side. I liked working the jib. And I liked how fast we were going. I thought that was cool! I just liked being on the water. But no offense Mom, but you’re not a good captain.”

I have had sailing lessons on the family To Do list for years and an opportunity came up for me to take an women-only lesson with a co-worker at TEIA (Trefthen-Evergreen Improvement Association) Sailing Club on Peaks Island. I loved every minute on the water so I signed myself and my kids up for a lesson together the following weekend.


There were, however, several differences between my first and second lessons.

First lesson: A group of adult women.
Second lesson: Me and my two kids.

First lesson: Ideal gentle winds.
Second lesson: Gusty winds.

First lesson: Not worried about capsizing because I’m a confident swimmer, especially with a personal flotation device.
Second lesson: Youngest child begged me not to capsize, hence my preoccupation about doing just that.

First lesson: No one really cared if I knew what I was doing or not.
Second lesson: My children expected me to handle the boat like a pro, which they realized very quickly that I was not.

Obviously my second captain experience was less than ideal but the kids and I left the dock laughing. For the preteen/teen set, life is most enjoyable when you can poke fun at one of your parents. I tend to offer a lot of fodder for this, intentionally or not.

My first sailing lesson was a calm early evening wind with a group of other women. We sailed 420s, a two-sail boat with a main sail and a jib that are designed for two people. At the beginning I was in charge of the jib (smaller front sail), which meant my official title on the boat was “crew.” The person who steers the boat with the tiller and controls the main sheet is called the “captain.” I took a turn as captain and although I had a rocky start figuring out the tiller (it’s counter-intuitive with the catch-phrase of “steer into trouble” because it actually takes you away from it), I got things figured out. 


My second lesson with my kids was a gusty late afternoon. We spent some time on the shore learning about wind direction, tiller steering and the basic parts of a 420 sailboat. Then we got in the boat in the water. That’s when my sailing ability, or lack thereof, became a concern for my youngest child.

We did a lot of heeling (i.e. tilting to one side), which had my 12-year-old begging me not to tip over while my 14-year-old laughed in glee. And as any mother has learned, when under stress while children are in tow, it’s all about focus. You’ve got to filter out the peanut gallery voices to do what you need to do to get a job done. In my case, that was getting a handle on simply steering the sailboat in gusty winds.

My mental checklist went something like this:

Listen carefully to instructor’s directions from the other boat and try to follow them. Accurately.

Wonder why boat has only two speeds, super fast and “in irons” (flapping sails).

Reassure, then ignore, youngest child’s “Mom!” exclamations during heeling episodes when the wind caught the sails (which it was supposed to do) and we took off at a fast clip.
Smile but try to ignore oldest child’s “Yeah this is fun!” declarations during same heeling episodes (even though I agreed they were fun).

Plot ways to get youngest child out of boat so oldest and I could have some fast-moving fun.
Stop thinking about dropping youngest child off. Learn how to manage the boat’s speed so she isn’t stressed.

Try to make small turns instead of a nearly complete circle when tacking.
Try to hear over the gusting winds for the teacher’s steering instructions while we’re “in irons” for the millionth time.

Wonder why (irritably) after 30 minutes I can still not steer the boat to the desired destination.

Try to get over embarrassment of an instructor boarding the sailboat to assist us in getting back to the dock.


Once on shore I let the youngest child verbally chastise me for the fast (and circular) sailing ride while offering a silent nod and smile (without her seeing it) to my oldest who loved it.


After some time debriefing the many errors I made at the helm and the instructors assuring me that the difficulty was in part due to the weather, my youngest agreed to try sailing again with me on a calmer wind day.

And that would be one of (many) reasons why I love my kids. They have a good sense of adventure. I sometimes miss the early years when I enjoyed the simple pleasure of watching their smiling toddler faces picking dandelions on a trail. But now that the girls are 12 and 14 years old, I am realizing all the new possibilities for more skill-oriented outdoor activities. Now they are the right size and/or age to try new things like sailing and I’m having even more fun with them.

And even though there are the teen moods to contend with, complaints about “floppy, jelly legs” after our sailing lesson at least puts the girls’ focus on something other than the more typical teen laments about their mother.

Needless to say, sailing is on the list to do again next summer with my teens.


SAILING LESSONS
Although the sailing season is coming to an end, you can do a bit of research now for next year.
TEIA Club, Peaks Island
North East Sail, Tenants Harbor
Mount Desert Island Community Sailing Center, MDI
SailMaine, Portland
Sebago Sailing, South Casco
Bay Sailing, Rockland
Old Quarry Ocean Adventures, Stonington
Maine Goddess Cruises, Boothbay Harbor
Northeast Harbor Sailing School, Northeast Harbor
Sawyer's Sailing School, Auburn


Originally published in Raising Maine Magazine, September 2010

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