Big brother off to school little sister isn't

5 tips for helping little ones adjust

For many parents it’s a mixed bag of emotions when sending your oldest child off to school for the very first time. Younger siblings, however, are not usually so torn. They are simply not happy that their older sibling is heading off to a place they are not welcome ... yet.

This can prove to be an even bigger challenge when the older child is nervous about going to school while the younger sibling believes they are ready for the classroom and tries to hop aboard the school bus first. This was an all too real scenario when sending my oldest off to kindergarten. It took a few days before my younger daughter changed her thinking from feeling left out to being energized by the notion that she could call the shots at home for a few hours each weekday.

To avoid your own school morning meltdown, prepare your younger child for his or her sibling’s transition to school.

Plan for change
Toddlers and preschoolers like structure and don’t care for changes to their schedule, so when something is about to alter their daily life, it’s best to ease them in to it. Talk to your younger child about how they’re feeling about their older sibling heading off to school. Give them a chance to ask questions and share their thoughts about this transition. Then empower the younger child with the opportunity to choose a special activity to do on their sibling’s first day of school. A sleepover or special breakfast visit with a grandparent will free up your morning to focus on your older child’s first school day.

Tour the school
Talk to your child’s teacher about the possibility of younger siblings visiting the classroom. Sometimes it’s simply the mystery and sense of feeling left out that prompts a younger child to have a meltdown. It might also help the older child feel special and grown up by showing their sibling around their school.

Pack a lunch
A new lunch box and/or backpack for younger siblings can help them feel grown up and special like their older sister/brother. While packing your older child’s lunch, pack one for your younger child too. Then plan a trip to the park to put that new lunch box to use.

School at home
Talk to your school-bound child about activities he/she does at school and ask the younger sibling if they’d like to do the same at home. It can help the younger child feel like they’re not missing out on something when they can focus on their own “school” day.

Enjoy one-on-one time
Take some time to enjoy your younger child without the distraction of their older sibling. Sometimes simply sitting on the coach for some special snuggle time will make both of you feel better about the new schedule change.

Originally published in Raising Maine Magazine, August 2010